14th January 2026 | Written by Rebeca Johnson, Sex and Relationship Therapist. Dip, PGDip, Mbacp, RegCosrt.

Couples Therapy vs Individual Therapy: What Is the Difference?

When we face challenges in our personal lives or within our partnerships, seeking professional support is a brave and transformative step. However, many people find themselves at a crossroads: should they seek individual counselling or attend therapy as a couple?

While both offer a safe space for growth, the focus and the "client" in the room are fundamentally different. Here is an exploration of what defines couples therapy, often referred to as ‘intimate partnered therapy’ and how it differs from the one-to-one experience.

The Focus: The Person vs The Relationship

The primary distinction lies in who the therapist is there to serve.

One-to-one therapy is an individual process. It is a dedicated space for you to explore your own internal world, your history, and how you see yourself. It helps you understand how you show up in relationships and in the greater world. The focus is entirely on your personal growth.

Couples therapy, by contrast, treats the relationship itself as the 'client'. It is a unique space where you go to explore and share the issues you are having with a trained professional. The therapist isn't there to take sides or decide who is "right"; instead, they observe the patterns and dynamics that exist between you both.

Breaking the Cycle of "Parent vs Child"

In many relationships, conversations can become so intense that no one feels heard. A common theme that shows up in couples work is a repetitive cycle of communication. One person may regularly bring up the same issues time and time again. This often results in the receiving partner withdrawing from the conversation because they feel "told off" or belittled.

For the partner who withdraws, these moments can mirror childhood experiences of being reprimanded by a parent rather than being spoken to by a partner. Couples therapy identifies these problematic patterns, helping you move away from "parent-child" dynamics and back towards a healthy, equal connection.

How to Choose the Right Therapist

Finding the right "fit" is essential for therapy to be effective. When searching for a relationship therapist or couples therapist, consider the following:

• Check Specialisms: Ensure the therapist has specific training in couples therapy. Working with a pair requires a different skill set than one-to-one work. Also, if needing sexual issues addressed in sessions, a psychosexual therapist is paramount.

• The "Neutral" Factor: During your initial consultation, notice if the therapist remains balanced. You should both feel equally heard, rather than feeling the therapist is "teaming up" with one person.

• Professional memberships Look for therapists registered with professional bodies such as the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) or COSRT  (College of Sex and Relationship Therapy).

• Shared Comfort: Ultimately, you both need to feel comfortable. If one partner feels alienated by the therapist’s style, the work will be difficult to progress.

Creating an Unfiltered Space for Connection

Couples therapy provides a safe, unfiltered environment where you can bring your true self. By being honest in the presence of a therapist, you can begin to dismantle the walls that prevent long-lasting connection. The sessions focus on communication issues, lack of intimacy, and those "stuck" patterns that prevent you from moving forward.

It is also worth noting that individual therapy can be sought at the same time as couples therapy. This allows each partner to have their own private support system while simultaneously working on the relationship.

Take the next step

If you feel your relationship has become a cycle of not being heard, or if you simply want to reconnect on a deeper level, professional support can help.

Are you ready to explore your relationship in a safe, neutral space? Reach out today to discuss how we can work together to create a more lasting connection.