7th January 2026 | written by Rebeca Johnson, Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist.
The New Year can bring a real sense of change, whether that is changing your wardrobe, having a sort-out at home, or thinking: 'New year, new me!'
January can be a real time of reflection, out with the old and in with the new. We live in a world of chasing the 'high' of something new and exciting; however, that short buzz or thrill only lasts for so long.
I wonder if you are finding the same experience within your relationship. Things were once magical and thrilling when you first met; life felt incredible with your partner and everything was a ball of happiness. This is a very common theme. In fact, a chemical is released in our brains that can create a blissfully magical bubble for around nine months to two years after meeting a partner.
However, this chemical release slows down over time. What can then happen for couples is that the very thing that first attracted you to your partner becomes the thing that annoys you most.
For example, a common theme is: "My partner is so carefree, engaging, and passionate." This then turns into: "Oh my goodness, my partner is so annoying; they are too intense, always needing my attention, and they are careless."
Another example is the societal belief that a person will meet a "forever person" who will complete them and make them feel whole. However, this brings pressure, resulting in a tightly wound and overly dependent relationship. One partner may feel they are doing all the work, while the other sails along more as a passenger than an equal partner.
Furthermore, partners can fall into the trap of losing empathy and understanding. Over time, they can fall into patterns of blaming and shaming one another instead of having honest conversations about how they feel or what they truly wish for in their relationship.
Relationships, sadly, aren’t magical and thrilling forever. They require compassion and curiosity to truly support and care for one another.
If this blog resonates with you, please reach out and get in touch. Let’s see if we can work together to help your relationship get its joy back.